Here is my piece of argumentative essay. Please give me some comments on my writing so that we can share ideas together, and I can improve my writing. Thank you every much.
"Health care service has become popular in our modern society. In some developed countries, the old come to live in old people's home with nursing services which are partly paid by the government. However, in my opinion, elderly people should live in their own homes.
Firstly, elderly people are offered better care when living at home. As a family only looks after one or two elderly people, other members can immediately satisfy their needs. Moreover, their children understand old people’s habits, so they can easily give the most suitable care. In contrast, in old people's homes, there are many old people while the number of nurses is limited. Therefore, they cannot get good care instantly. Additionally, many nurses only care for the old to earn their livings, so they are probably less enthusiastic than old people’s family.
Secondly, the old usually consider family as a good environment motivating them to live happily. They can enjoy the cozy atmosphere when having meals with their family or playing with their grandchildren. Witnessing their children’s success and grandchildren’s maturity always gives them a great sense of self-fulfillment. On the other hand, living in old people homes, they cannot usually meet their family. They probably feel isolated, which affects their health badly.
Some people may argue that nurses specialize in giving health care to elderly people. Therefore, they can play the role of caregivers more professionally than old people’s family. However, what old people really need is not only good care but also a happy atmosphere of family with their relatives surrounding them everyday. Therefore, family is definitely a better place for elderly people.
In general, family should be responsible for taking care...
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